Date posted: March 28, 2020
Dear NeighboursWe’re ALL anxious!
Covid-19 threatens to change entirely how we understand our world – so of course we feel anxious, as well as other uncomfortable and frightening emotions.
AND now we’re expected to stay in our homes, away from others – which only makes these feelings worse.
So, it’s useful to have some kind of approach to the situation that can make it easier to manage these emotions.
Here’s a set of resources that might help you to cope more easily with the rest of the lock-down period (one day down, only twenty to go!)
Mental Hygiene
At the very basic level of mental hygiene it is important at times like this to:
- Strive to maintain an atmosphere of calmness and routine
- Be conscious of maintaining structures and boundaries as pillars of home life. Regular meals, roles in the house, tasks and chores, as well as rules for the protection of private space, all deserve a thought.
- Try to establish these as a collective project that everyone can buy into. Remember that consensus is as important as the actual rules.
- Maintain an atmosphere of honesty and curiosity, but do place limits on media exposure
- Cultivate compassion and gratitude
- Maintain a sense of optimism by reminding one another of what we do have: comfortable and secure homes, in a beautiful part of the world!
Resources
There are many good resources on the web that offer guides to talking to children about the coronavirus, such as:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-talk-to-children-about-the-coronavirus-2020030719111
Self-care
In terms of self-care for more difficult emotional states, we have identified a few articles and e-publications that may be helpful. They approach the subject from a range of perspectives which may appeal differently to different people and we hope that at least one or two will prove useful!
An important lesson in mental health involves understanding that we are all fundamentally different and so will have different ways of responding to a crisis like this. Equally important is to understand that we are complex living beings and not machines. We do not recover by fixing a faulty part; it happens as we grow and heal, which involves everything about our lives, so all the little things we can change really do matter!
Common reactions in a situation like this involve spending a great deal of time worrying (or a worsening of this habit), periods of severe anxiety, a sense of grief that can encompass a range of different emotions and the full range of trauma reactions associated with activation of fight-flight-and-freeze responses.
Face Covid
FACE COVID is a simple and stepwise process, presented in the form of practical steps that can be taken at any moment in response to a surge of anxiety. These involve an approach of acknowledging and accepting, using the awareness of bodily sensations as anchor points in the present moment, to disengage from the cycle of racing thoughts that fuel panic, and to develop an observer perspective to what is taking place in one’s own mind and body.
This is then carried forward into a process of value refinement and commitment to action that serves to help us to feel engaged in what is happening in a way that takes us out of the cycle of helplessness and worry.
Click here to download the Face Covid eBook
Frequent Worrying
In those for whom frequent worrying is already a habit or has started to take hold, there are a range of techniques that may be helpful in developing a working understanding about how what the functional purpose of anxiety and worry are in the body, and how they work.
The Psychology Tools Guide to Living with anxiety amidst global uncertainty provides simple ways of understanding these feelings and practical guides based on gaining insight into the links between why we think, behave and feel and how we can step away from habitual patterns that lead to a worsening of worry.
Click here for the Guide
Another response that is commonly experienced in such times is a sense of grief and loss of the world as we have known it. This can of course manifest in a number of responses including denial, anger and sadness on what ideally becomes a journey towards acceptance and meaning.
In a very easy to understand interview in the Harvard Business Review, this is set out by the highly respected David Kessler, a global leader in this field.
https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief
Finally, an article by Alex Evans, using a collective psychology perspective, discusses the fight-flight-freeze responses to trauma as a neuropsychological modality of thinking, feeling and behaviour that occurs in response to major stress. Whilst this can be adaptive in emergency situations, it tends to undermine resilience in the longer term.
Evans points to an opposite, complementary state of being that has been referred to as “approach” or “tend-and-befriend” mode. Evans argues strongly that not only is “tend-and-befriend” associated with an improved sense of wellbeing but it simultaneously fosters an outlook on life that is more able to tolerate uncertainty and act collectively. Evans refers to an ABC of “tend-and-befriend”, as key behaviours for our collective mental health:
- Agency or a sense that we can do something about our situation
- Belonging or a sense that we are connected to something bigger
- Conscious self-awareness or the ability to have the presence of mind to actively choose how we want to respond to events rather than simply reacting to them.
https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/transformation/collective-psychology-coronavirus/
Evans’ A and B here are available right on the website this was sent from, and through numerous other connections, as well as right outside your door. We are here for each other and together we will get through this!
The development of Evan’s C- conscious self-awareness, is of course a more protracted and difficult process. It develops best through a gentle discipline involving deep acceptance and a settling of the mind.
Finding Solace
When I am gripped by the sense of cold fear that situations like the current one can provoke, I find solace in all that is present, here, in this very moment.
Indeed, in this beautiful place, in this wonderful community, full of very special people, there is so much that is very, very good. That is also how it is right now - and whatever happens, we know that this too, shall pass!
Sincerely yours
Dr John Parker
Hi Dr John Parker,
I’m truly impressed and grateful that you have posted these resources to cope with the stressful times we find ourselves in. I will post them on to people that I know who are seriously taking strain as well as look into them myself.
Thank you for caring and giving solace! Our surrounding natural beauty truly does assist and ground one as well as special people like yourself.
Margie Jarvis